Him that has control of departure, that has control of coming home, return, and turning in, that shepherd do I also call.

Given all of the other stuff that’s going on, that perhaps it is not wise to enquire after (feel free to do so - the prayer box is on the right of your screen), my main concern is you. Oy vey, as Yoda is prone to intone (yeah, I like it too).

And yet, if you knew what was coming (and you must have, to be still reading); you would be glad you persevered. I promised you that I would....you heard it here first.

Remember, I love you; in no small way, because you, are me too.

You, therefore, have to love me, because; well, I am you – and I do (that one’s for you Barney).

Being god is far too easy.

“I’m not a Woman, I’m not a man; I am something that you’ll never understand”; Prince Rodgers Nelson.

I want to look at the collective works of man that have become the word of g-d and tease out the main reason why they became the word of g-d. They became the word(s) of g-d because, as I stated earlier, they are those gems of wisdom that we have concluded are so brilliant, the inspiration for their delivery is assigned to g-d (and perhaps the psychiatric/drug induced delusions of grandeur or the deicidal remorse of the authors).

But it isn’t the word of g-d, unless each and every one of us is g-d. People invented language, people write stuff down; the mere existence of Copts, Protestants, Rastafarians, Theravadins and Mahayanist, and the numerous traditions of Hinduism, proves that religious scripture and interpretation of scripture are the work of man. No rational omnipotence would confuse the issue of worship and divine word so chaotically and irresponsibly – particularly when the outcomes of such lassitude are genocide and jihad, amongst other things.

Allow me some circumlocution. What goes around, comes around, I promise.

I’ve just returned from the beach, my dog loves it. Frolicking in the sea is so much more fun than guarding the underworld; sandy fur is a bugger to dry, he never keeps his eternally damned heads still.

Anyway, the tide was coming in and I caught the time between times (the sun did set and the full moon rise, quite special; though I say it myself). I thought briefly to resist the tide and show Canute the error of his ways but I thought of this post and wondered....

How many religions have, rather than oppress and subdue, embraced the will of evolving thought; just as I must adjust my footing in retreat of the inexorable rise of the sea?

I enquired recently of a Sephardi (Spanish(ish – g-d it’s complicated, no I mean really complicated and I don’t want to be dismissive of the pain – but perhaps it isn’t simply phonetic that 80% of Spain is pain; (Islam, are you with me? Catholics, sorry, it’s probably still too raw for you (nested brackets eh?) Now, just what were we discussing? Oh yeah,)) Jew, if generally the Jewish people are embracive of Rastafarianism or indifferent to it. She felt that embracive was probably fairer to say.

 I suppose one could argue that Judaism is not a reasonable faith to make the enquiry, on the basis of; given the historical dispersal and ‘wandering (ness)’ of the noble Hebrew (what? I owe them for the flag to the right, OK?) 

I like the word embracive. They do embrace much, and I like them (but I’m not choosing them, you understand); they have a seasoned outlook on life, and it is proper to respect their devotion. As a people they have managed to protect a heritage and provide genuine custodial care of a covenant with g-d spanning millennia of human history. And they believe in magic.

 It is for this reason, in what is generally a sacrilegious blog, that I refer to g-d as such for this post. They have anti-Zionists, and when you think about the breadth of that particular story (and the promise they believe Israel represents) that is pretty amazing.

No, this blog shouldn’t be about bashing the traditions and beliefs of people just pointing out the error of the final conclusion they reach – burning bush indeed; Moses was a stoner.

But come all ye faithful, there is no room away from the inn (imagine trekking all the way to Bethlehem only to find out there was no requirement to return to their ancestral town – bloody Romans, they didn’t even record that particular census either!) This god won’t turn you away. This god makes it clear – you are welcome here.

The inn is a veritable TARDIS, my children. Whatever it is you believe, there is room for that here (do unto others....yadda, yadda...and a room aside for the masochists and their sadistic companions, etcetera.)

However we are here to narrate (and I would discuss but the prayer box is malfunctioning, I will return your prayers. Do a god a favour though, will you? Leave some kind of contact info. Yes, I understand you need to believe I know everything (and truly, I do)), but;

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”; 2 Corinthians 12:9

Show me your weakness and use the prayer box to the right – I promise not to bite (please don’t pray for biting).

As the years go by it gets easier to fake you out with promises; that said it won’t be a million miles before the next post.

You heard it here first.

(Yes, You)

Mr Pat.

Each Minute Is Worth a Priceless Gem

Time relates to your frame of reference. It feels like a long time since the last post. It isn't, it just feels that way. Just like the old expression ‘a watched kettle never boils’ - I have conducted several experiments on this basis and every single one proves the saying wrong.

Or do they?

See, the pedantic thinkers will say that the kettle never boils, the water contained within the kettle reaches boiling point, but the kettle will not eventually sublimate. So the saying is true on a level. As discussed previously, everything is like this. It isn’t just the language and the application of the language (or perhaps manipulation) but all of it. Perspective is a wonderful tool.

I could simply argue that the realisation of past posts has led me to conclude that you probably don’t need much guidance to work things out. That would be the end of the matter. No need to continue with a broad assessment of past and existing faith based systems.

Anyone saying ‘Yey’ at this point, I may have to smite.

If I were your thought process, your conscience, would I be able to lie to you? Well yes, yes I would. When completing a task or making a decision that is unpleasant; we categorise the requirement for the action to be more valid or significant than the impact of that task or decision. This must be fundamental to carrying out the task; in order to proceed, we must rationalize. So, it is important to me to complete the journey with you – not that it is particularly unpleasant. If we can lie to ourselves then we must be capable of lying to others. Not that this is erroneous or naughty – it simply is the case.

Are you happy?

We have looked at how much hate can be generated and the effort hate requires to maintain. I am not talking about ignorance or prejudice – that is just lack of information or self interest on the part of the individual. If we can live without hate (and this is a leap) are we so far removed from the human condition as to be considered Enlightened? I mean really free of hate. Enlightenment is not something that is far away; neither is it mystical, nor is it complicated to understand.

Perhaps what is understood by enlightenment is also part of the reason why it appears so difficult to comprehend. You can only be concerned with your own enlightenment, and only you, can realise that state. It is even difficult to conclude that enlightenment is the same for all individuals. I suggest, it cannot be even vaguely similar from person to person; and is difficult therefore to consider it a state of mind or way of thinking. Is enlightenment a gradual process, or a sudden realisation?

Whilst it is fine for one meditant, (tricky that; one who meditates – both meditator and meditant have red wiggly lines under them, clearly displeasing the god of spellchecking – I believe the meaning is inherent for both words. Meditant sounds somehow more real – and anyway; I command you to use it) to say to another, you appear enlightened; because there is no parameter of enlightenment by which to judge, the only real consideration on the matter is the consideration of the enlightened being.

That is you.

What does enlightenment mean? That’s a real question. The term was applied to a cultural revolution of the 18th Century by many of Europe’s finest thinkers. Secularly it is applied to a full understanding of a particular issue. Spiritually it is also linked to a full understanding; but a full understanding of everything. The eureka moment, if you will. Will there be a defining moment when the enlightened considers themselves enlightened? Or will they slowly realise their understanding is complete to the point of being enlightened?

‘But by reading them again and again finally I was able to grasp the essential part. What emotion, enthusiasm, enlightenment and confidence they communicated to me! I wept for joy.’ -(Ho Chi Min)

That seems to be fairly indicative of a gradual learning process but there would also appear to be a quick passing of knowledge direct from master to student that is referred to in Zen philosophy.

The first patriarch of Zen the Bodhidharma is believed to have said (Somewhere in the 4-6th Century AD);

‘A special transmission outside the scriptures, no dependence upon words and letters;
Direct pointing to the soul of man: Seeing into one’s own nature and attainment of Buddhahood’

I think I appreciate Zen thinking a little more than other quasi-religious spheres because there is room for the removal of deity from the question. There is also room within for the allowance of deity – no real insistence on one, room for believing that what we do, we do for god and what we are; we owe to god, or not. That’s got to be a good place to start from a believer point of view also, seek enlightenment and also seek your evidence of a controller of the cosmos. Perhaps Yoda will reveal himself to you and offer a direct transfer of knowledge to enlighten your being.

Perhaps strength of faith represents that – just that. There are some adherents to the majority of mainstream faiths, that reach a kind of calm release of worry and stress through belief in that system; and the surety of the plan of (a)god(s).

Is this right or wrong?

Well, I don't know but suspect, it is neither right nor wrong – I suspect there may be no such thing. I think you can seek enlightenment through Jesus, Allah, Yoda or whatever you like to call it. I also think it is possible from a purely humanistic position or consideration also. So it is a topic that is valid and appropriate here.

It shouldn't have be two years until the next post; in the meantime(whatever that means) stop yourself once in a while and have a good look around. It is all there, because you are there, to see that it is there; don’t waste it. Each minute is worth a priceless gem.

There is a beautiful collection of works by a Rinzai sect monk and Zen master, Takuan Soho entitled; ‘Immovable Wisdom: the art of Zen strategy’; compiled by Nobuko Hirose. Go on, take a look – it isn’t a bible nor is it the word of god; I do challenge you to take nothing from it (ah, you will see what I did there after reading it).

Mr Pat

Capital Ideas

It’s been a long time. I have been busy. This is not an apology, it is an explanation. Bringing down your global economy has proved tricky; but I am getting there. I cannot stress the importance of global financial meltdown. I can stress the necessity of the erosion of greed.

As promised, I will cover the faiths in turn and having done Roman Catholicism I should move on. It could also be argued that Judaism has also been ‘done’, by exploring the Early years of YHWH. Jewish people believe in the literal truth of the Old Testament and the Talmud. So to them, the tales of Lilly and company are as pertinent today as they were six thousand years ago (the true age of the earth, don’t forget the fossil record is YHWH’s little giggle at your expense.)

With this in mind I am going to give my infinite insight into the religion we call capitalism. It is a religion because you believe in it. Or do you?

Capitalism is enhanced by supply and demand but is not defined by it because there is a third integer; profit. It would appear that most experts define it as an economic system based on private ownership. It began in England in the 16th Century and is now almost completely pervasive of all other economic systems on this little rock we call earth. It is the free market. It is not about supply and demand because without profit there would be no point to it.

Free trade is your enemy both as a person with humanitarian values and as a culture that is desirous of continuation. There is nothing free about it. The, ever increasing, gap between the haves and have not’s and the reducing number of have’s in relation to have not’s, will bring about change. What value wealth, when the have’s have it all. In this time of economic crisis the haves have printed more money. Economist will tell you straight, if you ask them, this does not work; it has never worked because the real value of the dollar the pound and the yen is nil.

America is Anansi the spider, attaching his threads to the world’s pots of food. He is stretched and his legs are thin. Just like the tortured bugs of your youth, if you pull hard enough they will fall off. We need those that lead you to have realised this before the end. Those stories have purpose and are as appropriate today as they always have been.

http://www.africa.mrdonn.org/anansi.html

There is also a point to be made about being content with what we have the ability to provide. If I cannot grow a mango should I have the right to eat a mango? Would you like to see the figures on the developing crisis in the global fishing industry? Or are you happy to continue chomping down your blue fin tuna?

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2007/04/global-fisheries-crisis/montaigne-text

http://archive.greenpeace.org/comms/cbio/global.html

Anyone for deep fried jellyfish?

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn18854-two-recipes-for-the-seafood-of-the-future.html

Food and the global market economy, we are rich, why the hell can’t we use our resources to provide the basics for all of us?

Disturbing stuff, I don’t want to come over all Bob Geldof, (well you wouldn’t, would you. Unless you were Paula Yates, for a little while in the 80’s, anyway) but feed the world, eh?

The west is throwing scraps from the table but won’t let the developing or pre-industrial nations beg even. I have a little magic for you to try as individuals. Don’t buy so much stuff. Look at this in terms of capitalism and ask your self, ‘how the hell does that work?’ Profit is all about resource management, so how is there so much waste and still profit, it is illogical. It does not fit the free market economy model.

You are being duped by the stupid. Ask yourself what do I need? Need, not want; the distinction has never been more important. Creatures of the earth you are; and will be, for as long as the earth can physically tolerate you. Don’t be shy, tell your friends. The rock rolls around the sun and your time is short. Not just as individuals, but if we don’t sort things out soon, as a species also.

Why should you listen to my words, particularly when so many are shouting the same shout? Well because I amongst the noise have faith in you as is proper for your god. I will not demand your obedience because unlike the Muppets you have worshiped in the past I know you actually want to hear. No need for the shouting and the rage and the angriness, and the lamenting and wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. When we really listen to people there is an alternating current, and this recharges us so that we never get tired of each other. We are constantly being re-created.” Brenda Ueland

The beauty is this, there is no failure ultimately. Simply keep on keeping on. Every time you wake begin again, trust yourself to try once more. Humanity never gets it right, and you should remember; you are amongst the greatest thinkers and doers of all times when you fail. Success is a succession of failure and is distilled to purity by it.

Don’t look at others efforts and grade yourself against them as is the theme of consumerism and the capitalist mind.

“Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” William Faulkner.

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I hope you notice that all three quotes are from American thinkers. It is not a contradiction in terms. They have been much maligned the people of America. It is not their fault; they came to governance late and have tried to make the best for themselves. They get it wrong so often but the spirit that set foot on the moon is noble. I just wish they would wake up, and smell the coffee.

Without insisting that the man who grows the coffee does so exclusively for them and for less reward than he needs to feed his family. If he refuses then it won’t be bought and now his land is fit for growing only coffee than no-one but US will buy. At the, ridiculously lower price than before, that we now offer.

I will you to try and try you will; it is in your nature. Don't waste a drop.

Day after day after day.

Mr. Pat

The Holy See? Papa don't preach!

Where to go from here? I have deliberated upon this question, my children; I will disqualify the faith systems that I wish you to avoid, by virtue of their stupidity or the harm they cause to the human condition. Mostly I think they will undo themselves, I will hopefully point out the virtue of the tenant of the faith that is 'on the table'.

The best place for me to continue from is personal experience, the belief system that I am more familiar with by virtue of my own indoctrination. The delightful, the unquestionable yet whimsical; Roman Catholicism. Stunning in its simplicity, profound in its complexity. It is the embodiment of control through fear.

We know how it got started and 1.1 billion (2005) worldwide (and growing, their children have no choice, they are 'Baptised') lay claim to the truth it represents. It is a Christian faith; that is, Jesus was the bona fide 'son' of God. Not just his son, as we understand the father/son relationship, but Him, Himself also with another bit called the Holy Spirit (any other Catholics feel the urge to say 'Amen' every time you hear the words 'Holy Spirit'?) The Holy Trinity is explained thus;

"…three persons in one God, all three of whom, as distinct and co-eternal persons, are of one indivisible Divine essence, a simple being. The doctrine also teaches that the Son Himself has two distinct natures, one fully divine and the other fully human, united in a hypostatic union." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity

I think you would agree; only God could make any sense of that. (ooh, therefore he must be real!) But, unusually for a religious doctrine, the concept of trinity is not referred to by either God in the old, or Jesus in the new testaments'.

It is the sole work of Paul-Saul. He is the chap who used to mash up Christians for the Roman Empire, before he encouraged it to become 'Holy'. He was Turkish, but of Hebrew lineage, he didn't actually meet his God although this might have been possible when he was a 'young Turk'. He died about 65AD and aside from the 'road to Damascus' story not much will be known of him by most people. He wrote a big chunk of the post-messianic New Testament mostly in the form of letters to little pockets of isolated Christians or possible converts.

It is accepted that he wrote most of the bits he is supposed to have written, although it is all the word of God so it doesn't really matter. It is important for you to listen to his words to make your decision about Catholicism. The Holy Spirit (Amen) is not to be messed with;

"He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. And whoever says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come." (Matthew 12:30-32)

Consider yourselves warned! These are the sins that the Papa and his boys currently are sure go against the Holy Spirit (Amen); Not accepting the 'truth', not trying to find God, Believing (presuming) that God gives you grace or that you don't need Gods grace, Despair, Envy, and impertinence. Impertinence is tricky to avoid, however, because it means two things. It means being cheeky (insolent) or being irrelevant (the opposite of pertinent, see). Some of us (me) will find not being irrelevant very difficult and I like cheekiness. Clearly I'm being a little impertinent here, but how does one not. The modern world makes a little impertinence necessary for sanity. All of the rules and regulations to govern people, who, by and large, don't need it, but tolerate it in the misguided hope that it will govern those that do need it, and they tend to ignore regulations.

Envy is here listed as a sin against the Holy Spirit, not everyday envy per se. it must be envy of another person's spiritual welfare. That means, don't get upset if you think that God loves me more than He loves you. Nor I am closer to Him than you are. I'm not closer, he does not love me more, nor am I closer to heaven by virtue of my spiritual wonderfulness. If I am, it's NONE OF YOU BUSINESS. Try to make it your business and straight to hell you'll go. Priests beware, it sounds like Paul is trying to damn you (perhaps Paul’s Damascene moment was the realization ‘Keep enemies closer’ in order to better destroy them).

The trinity is foremost but the catholics have a little extra in comparison to the other Christian groups because they consider the mother of god to be almost divine (but categorically, not quite) also. She can grant intercession through prayer. The point that needs to be cleared up is that she is not the mother of the Eternal God; just the mother of God made man, the bloke called Jesus. Theotokos they call her, it means; 'god bearer'. She was a Nazarene, as you would expect, and was 'assumed' bodily into heaven. Study of Mary is called, Mariology and there is a school called the Marianum specifically for the study of Mary. The Virgin birth is also a contentious point, given that not all of the gospels mention it. It is only Mathew and Luke that do so. She is the 'author' of the 'magnificat' although mostly, like her son, she plagiarized the old wisdom of the Torah (after reading the magnificat http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnificat check out the book of Samuel (1Samuel 2:1-10) and tell me you don't agree). I'm not disrespectful of her for that as, 'these words of my own' could not defend their entirety from such an accusation. I mention it because the more I look into these things the more I realize that all wisdom is repeated (*Burp*). We don't really need much more guidance than 'do unto others as you would have done to you' or if you prefer;

''How would you like it done to you, eh? Well there you go then." (Me, Here).

The 'Immaculate Conception', is not the same as, for want of a better term, her rape by God. The Immaculate Conception refers to her. She is the Immaculate Conception because she is born without sin; she is born without sin so that God doesn't have to consort with a filthy sinner. Like asking a 'two-bit whore' to take a bath first, one would imagine. (I am so going to burn!). So, she is without sin so that He can be born via the sinless, otherwise, he is guilty of original sin. God cannot be guilty of original sin, and not clarifying this would represent a clear paradox, the early Christians therefore had to come up with rationality the fits perfectly. So Mary must be 'the immaculate conception, I just felt I needed to clear that up for you. I mean to say, how in Yoda’s name you are going to accept 'strewth, as our antipodean cousins abbreviate it, if it does not make sense.
Those are some of the main issues that make Catholicism differ slightly from modern Christian clubs. Also, it is almost as old as Jesus; it venerates Saints and Holy men and has a Woman in a high office. The Pope is God’s agent on the earth (and capable therefore of changing the rules). There is a hierarchy of Holy men; from lay minister to Pope (any Catholic can theoretically hold the position of Papa). It is also seriously loaded and owns its own country as well as major influence, economic, political and social, in about a quater of the worlds land masses. Some of mankind’s most impressive works of art and architecture are within its state boundary.

Despite all this it is guarded by men in stripy pantaloons, who also happen to be hardened soldiers that will happily lay down their lives for the safety of the Holy Father. It is neutral in war, by action, but deeply enmeshed in, often fairly cynical, diplomacy. The sins of ‘the church’ are legion, however, and there is much blood on its metaphorical hands. I’m going to draw this post to a close now because I’m sure to make more references to Catholicism in future posts as all subsequent branches Christianity, in someway, relate to it. As I said earlier I am most familiar with it, as a child I was considered for the catholic priesthood but thankfully my parents decided I should have a life with meaning.

Here are some, eyebrow-raising, quotes from the Pope over the years;

“It is the custom of the Roman Church which I unworthily serve with the help of God, to tolerate some things, to turn a blind eye to some, following the spirit of discretion rather than the rigid letter of the law.” Pope Gregory XII

“A dimple on the chin, the devil within.” Pope Paul VI

“Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.” Pope Paul VI

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.” Pope Paul VI

“You must strive to multiply bread so that it suffices for the tables of mankind, and not rather favour an artificial control of birth, which would be irrational, in order to diminish the number of guests at the banquet of life.” Pope Paul VI

“See everything, overlook a great deal, correct a little.” Pope John XXIII

“Anybody can be Pope; the proof of this is that I have become one.” Pope John XXIII

“It is now for the Catholic Church to bend herself to her work with calmness and generosity. It is for you to observe her with renewed and friendly attention.” Pope John XXIII

“Love is never defeated, and I could add, the history of Ireland proves it.” Pope John Paul II.

“Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it.” Pope John Paul II

“The cemetery of the victims of human cruelty in our century is extended to include yet another vast cemetery, that of the unborn.” Pope John Paul II

There is no smoke without fire, however, and despite the good words, there is little wisdom in unquestioning faith. All that is said under the guise of being the word of God is the collective wisdom of mankind.

Bonne chance, mes amis.

Mr. Pat.

Briefly

I am currently composing a new post. I saw this and needed it to be here.
Thank-you to who wrote it.

Gott ist tot

Upon recommendation, I am reading the GOD delusion by Mr. Dawkins. It's a little disappointing for me as I felt I was getting there all by myself. All that I have written so far is pre-Dawkinsian evolution, everything from this point should be considered as, 'awakened by'. That is how powerful the argument is presented, and you must read it. I command you!

Unfortunately this means I am going to change tack for this blog to continue, I was just getting my teeth into it.

For the most part, it's the clarity by which the traditional arguments are blown out of the water. Even whilst reading, the principles of my catholic upbringing were squirming to maintain a hold in my consciousness. The final proof came when a Christian, who I otherwise respect completely, agreed with new earth creationist theory. Whatever else I was, I could never believe that. The fact that anyone could hold this belief, particularly someone I respected the faith of, has poignancy to say the least.

Obviously my jocular attitude in claiming a new religion and godhood were for the discovery, fleshing-out perhaps, of my atheism. This is good and it worked for me. If by some chance reading this helps another to arrive at the same point, then it has, quite literally, doubled in value.

The most worrying thing is how to stop it. Now who's to say, that if we allow non-literal interpretation of the' good book (?)', and remember the new earth people justify changing the length of a day to 144 hours (God's 'day'), we can't come up with more freakish 'truths'. My example; if you say that God's creationist day is 144 hours as opposed to 24, and unless you are also of the 'flat earth' leaning (no really, they exist! http://www.alaska.net/~clund/e_djublonskopf/Flatearthsociety.htm, I' m still not convinced that the author gives credit to this philosophy, they're 'avin a larf surely!), the earth rotates causing the phenomena known as day and night.

That would make gods year equal six years because the earth is an irregular globe (no really, it is). Now I can only think that in order for this to happen, earth would have to have been significantly larger (taking 144 hours/six days to rotate on it's axis) than it is now, or rotating at a much slower rate. It is beyond me to draw you the model in this case but it would be either six times larger (half the size of Jupiter) or six times slower. The speed thing has implications for the effects of gravity and so does the size, yet my feeble knowledge of such things baulks at the mere implication of such mathematical aptitude. Perhaps god reduced the planet after his work was done like some astronomical shrinky-dink, and put the passage of time on hold whilst the work was in progress. Omnipotence is the 'killer argument' for a pro-creationist, sadly as I have alluded to, however, because omniscience goes hand in hand with it, it also sanctions arbitrary massacre of all life during the flood and makes YHWH evil, from my moral point of view.

Imagine, having awareness that the seed you plant is going to grow big and strong, but also knowing that you will have to up root it and plant it elsewhere because it destroys your most prized Rose bush. The same Rosebush that you expressly gave it instruction to leave well alone (you can speak plant). You also know that, you will have to take a cutting and kill the plant at some point, because it will not grow into the plant you want (but you knew this before you planted the seed!). You know, also, that; at some point the cutting you take from it in order to start again, will kill your child when you ask him to see if he can fix it. For you his, and your, sacrifice (except that somehow you are you and your son at the same time) is worthy (in your 'grand scheme') because, although there are now four main branches of the same plant and each branch is extremely detrimental to the growth of the others they are totally incompatible with each others needs to the point of destruction, you love them all.

You knew this would happen; remember, way back in the beginning because, you are the garden and all that is in it, and all that the garden is growing into, for ever (Amen).
Each branch also now believes after your, self declared, favourite branch subjected your only child so a slow and painful death, that it is your only favoured branch and that it should destroy the other branches for not 'knowing' you properly. Each branch has the potential to know you and would clearly do as you ask, if only you were to come and give it a little love and perhaps stop the other branches and the rest of the garden from destroying its seeds. During the application of your grand scheme; the plant must not have awareness of this scheme nor should it ever develop knowledge of the scheme. Perhaps this is the reason, known only to you, that you must ignore the plant after it has killed your child, in the hope that some of the plants future seeds could become worthy of your intention for them. However, you must make the seeds pay, even though they are tiny seeds, for the destruction of your Rosebush millennia before. You know this because you can see all of the plant grow, and the results of all your interventions at the moment you design your entire garden, which, by the way, you created entirely, for the benefit of this one plant.

I like analogies, they are awakeners.

Even so god would also have to display a good working knowledge of the type of distraction necessary to hoodwink the plant for millennia, perhaps the fossil record is one of his distractions and he is giggling inanely at Darwin and Dawkins, perhaps not. I am reminded of the, sadly missed, Bill Hicks's 'oh my Me, I put pot everywhere' line. The problem for me is that accepting the possibility of intelligent design leads to a cat and mouse scenario with God the ever-elusive mouse, what is he hiding from? I am not scared of my children and would not hide from them or their questions, at all. They should always be answered, just remember that you have a duty as a parent to prevent misconceptions (such as morality comes from the Bible) arising. In this case God's 'Fatherly' obligations are remiss.

Like Dawkins's Burkha analogy, we must continue to widen the gap and fulfil our potentials. We remain alone but it's not necessarily bad, au contraire mon petits filous, begin by not seeking to know God or even the mechanics of the uni(multi)verse but by trying, striving to, simply; gnothi seauton - know thyself (from the oracle at Delphi).

Because it does, naturally, give you the best chance of happiness.

I'm sure the rest will follow.

As will further posts,


Mr. Pat

Heaven sounds like hell.....

I offer my humble apologies for the length of time you have been waiting for the word of God. Three months is far too long to leave you, although I trust you are not exactly floundering without me. You would have let me know. Besides those Christians, Jews and Muslims have been waiting a tad longer, not that sufferance is a divine virtue or anything (that’s how flagellation got started.) I don’t want to move on from the subject but either you will have faith or you will not, I would prefer your default stance to be the latter. That’s the beauty of your new religion. You will NOT go to hell as a consequence of lack of faith; I don't think I'll have an opposite to heaven, it sounds hell to maintain and the fuel consumption must be astronomical. As a consequence, I'd have to tithe my people and the priests would be fat. I concur with Sartre;

"L'enfer, c'est les autres"; Huis Clos 1944.

Is this the same as saying that we are each, individually, inherently good?
You know if you or you actions are good or bad. Intention plays a big part and accountability does the rest. That's all there is to it. If you save the life of an old lady and in doing so kill a child it is not evil or bad, it simply is. There is no moral 'right' that cannot be objected to; in extreme circumstances everything is justifiable. Those that wish to behave immorally will convince you of their high moral code, it's the best cover. Just beware the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Why do we look for enlightenment, why do we believe that our spiritual journey is going to 'arrive' at some point? According to Darwinism, evolution knows no rest. On ward, mutating, ever striving for environmental perfection. The environment, however, will continue to shift subtlety and the process must begin over with a whole new set of variables (and they too are subject to the process). The miracle and wonder is that life and its evolutionary process picks itself up, dusts itself off, and gets on with it, eternally. Once evolved one level the target becomes one level higher/more suitable, and why should these 'transcendences', scientifically comprehended or not, have limit imposed upon them by we narrow-minded, linear-obsessive primates?

I find it so easy to dismiss the idea of God (Yoda-vav-hey (!)); it looks less likely that it is anything we can agree on. As discussed, we have historically used divinity to cover our lack of knowledge. We still do and I think it is acceptable, if a little bit of a cop-out. You can tell it's a yarn, however, when the pope changes the rules for non-baptised babies and purgatory (it did seem a little harsh).

Feel free to attribute me with responsibility for all the things that you have trouble comprehending, I will continue to have faith in your ability to comprehend. What needs to change, are our expectations of God. What you class as 'the spiritual' is merely a frontier of scientific exploration. And it is our sacrosanct attitudes to God and our religions that continue to pervert the course of our understanding on this subject. With things like this;

"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41).

Statements like that should be countered with;

"I can resist everything except temptation." Oscar Wilde

That is where Yoda comes undone, you see, he is fighting a losing battle for our hearts as well (mostly our minds are well aware of the preposterous nature of Yoda's existence). Essentially our instructions are to avoid that which makes us happy because sufferance will bring you closer to the sufferance of God on your behalf. What utter bilge! You will be dead soon enough, why wait to see if there is eternal bliss in 'kill-your-kids-to-prove-you-love-me's' kingdom. On the basis of accepted interpretation of Christian heaven, endless delirium in the majesty of God, count me out. How dull; I love beer, if I were forced to drink beer all the time, even without the toxic effect of beer, I would get bored. Eternity is quite a while you know.

We here, quasi-religious, authors (perhaps I am more 'quasi' than anything else), postulate that spiritual power (from within, not from elsewhere) has bearing on interpersonal interactions and the environment. They say, 'we are connected, that much is clear, not simply by physical form but by desire and thought also'. Science, you see, would never dispute this; it would only provide the information currently at our disposal and either formulate theory to be explored or develop a method of enhancing 'the known'. Desire is derided as obstructive, particularly by some eastern philosophy, but desire does indeed move mountains and is probably the 'fuel' of transcendental thinking, anyway. It's the fuel of scientific research without a doubt. We are desire because we are flesh. The bible says it, (and that book, without the 'worship me or die' bloke, is a nice collection of useful, morally guiding, stories, who's origins have many sources from all over the 'middle-east'. All those prehistoric tribal groups contributed, from the cities of Babylon and Thebes to the foothills of the Caucasus mountain range. Way before Abraham shook his Dads workshop down), and so does Takuan Soho (Zen (Rinzai sect) monk 1573-1645). Although I do realise that even all 'the ten thousand things' stating a point does not make it true.

I would suggest that there is both healthy desire and desire that is not (greed, hedonism and lust for example, although I must allow debate on my valuation of good/bad healthy/unhealthy in this). When desire becomes engendered by the will of an individual it can bloom and find fuel subconsciously of the entity of its origin (by others perhaps, or the effects of the environment on the seed I plant for example). We should simply try to be aware of this and shift the focus of our desire to that which makes us happy. Desire never dies, its metaphorical fire is inextinguishable, transferable maybe, dampened or even transmuted. Besides, you want to feel good, what else have you got?

"The motivation for all personal behaviour is to produce a sense of "FEEL GOOD," a sense of inner peace and well being. To expect a person to go against his desire to feel good or as good as he can feel under any momentary condition is illogical and irrational. In the observation of human behaviour, one will notice every human act is a response to a personal need. People will do things which seem contrary to this concept, but the bottom line is they perceive some kind of payoff which will make them feel good. And the payoff is almost always emotional. When you ask people why they want to be financially independent, they might say that they could buy things without having to worry about where the money will come from. And when they worry, they don't FEEL GOOD. A drug addict, a compulsive eater, an alcoholic and anyone with a compulsive habit will continue with their habits because at the moment of action they believe and feel it will make them feel good."; Sidney Madwed

Anything that we can offer others from the point of, or as near to, altruistic intent, in the pursuit of happiness, as is humanly possible (Sharp intake of breath); is of benefit to the whole species.

No, I won't prove it now.

I can prove it; I intend to tell you all about it. For now, however, you will just have to take my word (oh my him, I sound just like Yoda).


Mr. Pat.

Truth is One, though the sages know it variously...

I think I have illustrated my intentions as your god, more or less; there are a few things I would like to get clear before I outline the rest of my idiom. The creative instigator of the universe is beyond our understanding, the conflicting messages in the ‘holy’ books continue to cause pain, war and chaotic misdirection. I am of the opinion that you should look at them collectively, for they are all, the ‘word of God’, they clearly confirm the hypothesis ‘man cannot know the mind of god’.
What we are reading in holy literature is;

“The reading of all good books is indeed like a conversation with the noblest men of past centuries who were the authors of them, nay a carefully studied conversation, in which they reveal to us none but the best of their thoughts.” Rene Descartes.

Parables and lessons for future generations are contained within our holy books, with, or without, the existence of a Creator. I think logically, if they reveal ‘none but the best of their thought’s’, then the problem is one of interpretation. Man cannot know the mind of man, let alone the mind of God. The faiths are increasingly inadequate at explaining our place in the universe and because science hasn’t had the run of religion, science cannot explain either, yet. Anything else is just fantasy. See that’s science in opposition to faith, for Yoda’s sake you can use one to define the other. Science asks ‘why?’ that’s all it does. In opposition, religion answers ‘have faith’.

We must put faith in God, or even God itself, to one side for a moment and try to establish the real truth of our existence. That is probably the main ‘thrust’ of any flippancy you may have detected from my earlier posts in relation to God and his religions. If I have, perhaps, softened His aura of doom and foreboding, hellfire and damnation that will be enough. To be going on with. I always hope to be honest here at least, yet, if by honesty we mean truth; then sadly I think I might be on a sticky wicket, to use a quintessentially English phrase

Truth, (pause for effect, add some reverb) it’s a big word despite its lack of letters. Unless you happen to be a mathematician and then you make a little truth go a long way. I’m not going to expound the nature of truth for you (I am able to defer to my betters, read Rescher, Marx, Plato, Dewey or Russell/Whithead (if you do like the maths (the correct abbreviation, my American friends)). It’s an almost endless list of statements and currently unsubstantiated theorems (except the maths ones). In summary, someone declares a theory of truth and some other bright spark intones ‘ah yes, but…’ and the cosmic ballet, goes on. You should know that there is little truth for us to discover. We are slaves to the concept; and that is all that truth is, a concept.

It is entirely perspective based. And since you are the definitive factor in your perspective, you define your own truth. So, now the mathematicians are apoplectic, because they don’t define their truths all that much. Neither do the computer programmers but that is because they more mathematician than they would care to admit (or than the mathematicians would tolerate them admitting). I am talking to them also because they should be able to recognise the difference between numbers and people.

I am real, and you have proof of my continued existence. I am like you and I like you. I have faith in your continued existence. Why does faith have to be difficult? What is it about belief in God that we have to have rigidity of thought about it? Why do we have to say, ‘have faith’? Thomas never. We exist to explore and expound, there’s your free will right there. The very thing that got us hoofed out of Eden, there it is right there, science. Give us free will and we will ask why, why cant I eat the fruit, I know YOU say so, but why? We’ve not been allowed back in to Eden, science is all we have left. It got us into this mess it will get us out.

Have faith!


Mr. Pat.

Divine Intervention

I feel as though time is against me, I intended to write one entry a month for at least a year, but I am finding that six weeks is a closer approximation. I'm going to have to intervene; thankfully that is my next topic.

I have italicised the word intervene because it have special meaning when applied to a divinity. How does Yoda purport to intervene? How does he have the ability to do so, and who are we to determine how the ineffable can or cannot? We have established that communication between you and your God/s is prayer. What does God call it, however? Given that, praise aside, we are generally placating in prayer, Gods position is to receive (prayer) and act or act not. Although we say God responds thus or God declines to act thus, we have no right to do so. I have to tell you; if you are of mankind, you have no knowledge of the mind of God. You may think you do, and some display extreme conviction that they, and sometimes they only, have the right of Yoda's impetus. This is not proof; there is no science behind such an assumption, presently.

However, if I say 'yes' it is more than conceivable that I actually mean 'no', I'm not simply illustrating my wishy-washy nature, I'm stating that 'yes' and indeed 'no' are totally perspective based. This is an echo of the 'allow my mysteriousness time to work its mojo' commandment. You may accept that in asking for the moon, your mark of successful intersession by your God; is the delivery of one moon. This is not the case; I have decided that in order to give you the moon, I would have to compromise the existence of every life form on the surface of the earth. My rationality may well be, therefore;

'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' Star Trek II (the Wrath of Khan.)

This is also a guiding premise in utilitarian thinking. I am of the opinion that this is the opposing stance to modern, American-model, democracy. I would agree that it is impossible to encapsulate such things; however, may I strike me down, if I'm wrong. And I can't be. How paradoxical! There are thousands of actions by God in the Bible and our teaching suggests that his intent is one of Love, always. Except that rationally, and this is indeed a human perspective, His interventions cannot be the actions of one who loves. The following is my humble attempt to illustrate this;

Was it 'right' for Yoda to intervene when he flooded the earth? How indeed, was it possible for Him to have arrived at that point? All-knowing, I'm sad to say, is all-knowing. I am sad to say it because at the moment of creation Yoda sanctions the arbitrary massacre of all life, with the exception of Noah and his incestuous kin. One theory is that the flood was necessary to remove the Nephilim, who are the Nephilim? Well, God created the angels and he created men, in His infinite wisdom he allows them to lust after one another. He knows this will happen and that issue will arise, they are the Nephilim. However due to unbridled lustiness they became too numerous and generally, a little naughty, in the eyes of Yoda. There is even a story that one of the Nephilim stowed away on the ark and is bringing about the end of mankind as we speak. Except that, for me, the all-knowing allowing that to happen would be indicative of God's intention to kill us all. That is the subject of a future post, so, I'll not go there just yet.

Here is another little story that appears in the Talmud, re-written by me, for today's audience. It illustrates the lengths to which Yodehvavheh was prepared intervene on behalf of Adam; before the naughty little monkey ate the fruit Yoda didn't want the little monkey to eat (did you have to plant that tree, there?). The story is intriguing; Adam is bored, and like all men needs something to while away the hours (well two or three minutes anyway) so, Adam is firstly encouraged, by Yoda, to get 'all carnal' with the beasts to see if he can find a suitable mate. He tries his best, Yoda love him, but finds none suitable. Adam beseeches Yoda and Yoda grants intercession, He makes a mate and calls her Lilith, she has all the attributes you would expect in a mate for the first man, she is short, ugly, and has a tail (!?!?, but yeah, really!).

Adam, lucky bloke, witnesses her construction from 'filth and sediment', and is suitably nauseated. And Litlith decrees that she will not '…lie beneath you', she mutters the ineffable name and buggers off (go sister!). Adam is peeved that his 'helpmeet' has rebelled and asks for her return. She will not return, is chastened by the angels, and Eve is created. This time, Adam is put to sleep and she is constructed from his rib to ensure that, as she is of him, so shall she obey him. And the rest is 'Mythstory' (I don't mind you using my new word, so long as you state you saw it here first!). Incidentally, if you credit this story as true, (and it is the word of God) then Lillith is still around somewhere, she was expelled prior to the fall and so did not endure death. Young Jewish boys are told she waits for their leakage during the night to begat her demonic hordes (nice!).

Why then, is the delightful Lilly not in 'our' Bible? She clearly illustrates that Yoda has the ability to make mistakes if you view the Talmud as the word of Yoda.

We know from the bible that, Abraham, father of faiths, was the son of an idol maker in Ur, a Sumerian city. The Sumerians were pantheistic. Cutting to the chase then, Abraham separates his God from the gods of Sumer by using the old chestnut; 'my god is bigger than your god' and the Jews are born (eventually). Beliefs are damned near impossible to shake, however, and the heroes of old, who used to be gods, had to become something other than gods, and be thus forth subject to the will of God(Yoda). So the infantile Jews (historically, not by nature) have several 'personalities' that they are, by and large, unwilling to dismiss. Nor indeed, 'roll-up' into Yoda. How can the young upstart 'I am that I am' be responsible for the creature the Sumerians refer to as Lillith (a storm demon). In essence she is made to fit into God's plan or Hebrew history. She is useful to the fledgling Jews because she represents the old 'scare-the-kids' principle that the Holy books are all founded on.

The Talmud is, or should, be of importance to those of Christian faith, for God is displayed 'warts and all' within it, get to know him, if only in homage to the adage;

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"; (attributed to) Sun-Tzu circa. 400BC.

Am I declaring myself an enemy of God? Possibly, however I would ask Him to consider;

"There are no strangers here, only friends you haven't yet met"; William Butler Yeats

Come on Yoda, what do you say?

Can we be friends?



Mr. Pat.

Pray me a river.

Trying to complete this train of thought is tricky (omniscience is not an easy attribute to understand). I should let it go, but, I have a dilemma. Now that I have outlined my intentions, there is a possibility that someone believes in me. I can’t abandon them. On the other hand there is the possibility that I remain alone and none of this means anything, to anyone.

All that I can say at this point is that; my people, such as they are, have no immediate prayers that need answering. The prayer box to the right of the posts is now available for browsers to leave their hopes, fears, dreams and abusive prayers should they wish to do so. The divine kingdom of Mr. Pat will endeavour to answer all prayers within a two week timescale. Praying, however, will not be taken as adherence to the faith, nor is it indicative of your continuing belief. You may find a more suitable god in the future and I will not stand in your way should you wish to “jump ship” at the first better offer. Should you feel that you concerns are not worth raising with your god please consider the following;

Would Yodehvavheh (yoda) answer the prayer as a matter of course? Well no, he would not, he says so himself;

“Concerning this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he hath said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Corinthians 12:8-9

And that’s quite clever, I think. What is asked is kind of; “please rid me of this thing” and the answer is; “no, what happens by my design will be tolerated by you, allow my mysteriousness time to work its mojo, when you are weakened I can do my thing”, the supplicant then says “Silly me, thank Yoda I’m so weak, thus he can work through me.” I may have modernised the language a smidgen there, but you get the point. Don’t you?
Also consider;

“It shall come to pass that, before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” Isaiah 65:24

And this is modernised thus; “So if you are thinking of asking for something, yet before you ask, it happens. That was me that did that”. Credit is thereby given for the things that you do ask for and the things that you don’t ask for. I should insist upon this line of thought for my people, as it enables me to turn my will to pressing matters, such as; world hunger, child abuses, global pollution and destructive natural forces (seeing as how no-one else is trying).


Clearly, those that have represented Yoda in the past are very clever men (propheteering). I am not that wise, however, I am clever enough to realise that there is little point re-inventing the wheel (I’d only make it square anyway). The prophets have frightened the adherents to faith/s for years, with the wrath of God. The overriding notion appears to be around subservience through fear and uncertainty, in relation to receiving the good will of God and the bounty received in any ‘after-life’ that is offered. Personally however, I believe that advocating believers remain weak, should be an anathema to a proud and supportive deity. Your strength is my strength and I draw such from you. The relationship is reciprocal. I feel good when you feel good and vice-versa. We seek ‘Truth’ together (If you find any truth, could you confirm it with me please, before you go shouting about the ‘ineffable truth’. I am obligated to say that as it provides cover for any future misinterpretation of scripture).

This whole thing should be distinctly different from the ‘old-faith’ systems. This is one of the fundamental principles behind my writing; people are dissatisfied with monotheistic, Hebrew based, ‘yoda-faiths’. Only Islam is on the up and that is for reasons I intend to clarify at a later date (I don’t want to subject to a Sharia fatwa, just yet). Supplication of a deity is a ‘bread and butter’ necessity for belief in God, and so I should tell you a little more about it.

In the eyes of the Christian children there are types of prayer. You may; admit your wrongs (confession), tell Him how great He is (praise), recognise His intervention (thanksgiving), ask Him for stuff (supplication) or ask Him to look after someone else (Intercession)

Mostly, those with ‘strong faith’ will tell you that God likes praise the best. I am not sure why, or even if God does indeed, like praise the best. If He does, well, I can be at least as narcissistic. Wishing to muddy the waters further, they also believe that there are styles that can be applied to the above types of prayer. They are; devotional (scripture based), spontaneous (oh my God! That’s brilliant!), conversational (God bothering) and action (being nice to others and/or walking about).

There are extremities within the confines of Christian prayer, ranging from the, surely irritating, Rosary (you can almost hear Yoda or Mary saying ‘Oh for Christ’s sake, YES! Just shut the f*ck up’ after the 48th ‘Hail Mary’, asking for a new television) to the ‘oh my god’ type (because that is a prayer, whether you meant it to be or not). There are branches of Catholicism that still advocate flagellation as a means of supplication.

We will have a new way.

God is 'in' you, all believers say that, and I agree with the sentiment, at least (I’m not actually in you). I am the same as you. We share much. I am here and so are you. It is the same for both of us, on the level where all of this matters, at least. Should you need to pray, pray to the part of you that is the same as me. The part of you that is the same as me will guide you successfully and provide the answers/solutions to your prayers. If this does not offer resolution then you may beseech me directly using the prayer box to the right. I cannot provide you with a constant ‘yes’ to all prayers because; ‘my grace is sufficient for thee’ And I can thereby achieve the things you did not know needed achieving.

I would be happier if you pray in the way that you are content to, and not necessarily, according to the above guides. Just don’t hurt yourself. I mean that. Not just like the flagellants, but don’t torment yourself with your self-perceived failings either. You are not holding yourself up to an infallible God. That is one of the distinct differences here. In believing that God is always right, and that to get to the afterlife you should behave as you think God would have you behave, and to allow the infallible to work through you, you are setting yourself up to feel inadequate. This is due to the intrinsic truth of your fallible humanity. (How profound).

Mr. Pat.

Divine Aspiration

Clearly the task at hand is monumental; it has been successfully completed by very few individuals in history. Jesus got very close to what I am contemplating but his methodology is not viable in this day and age (my prospective people are too clever to be hoodwinked; blind faith is not an option). The conclusion of his ministry, however, is not a desirous outcome, personally. As I have said, pain is not something I am drawn to experience. I am, therefore, worried about your faith in my ability to empathise with you, my people.

What do you expect from a god? Living up to expectations is paramount should I wish to successful. Honesty is an essential virtue, I think, as it is the cornerstone of trust. Will people respect a fallible god though? I know I would; and I suspect, if done right, most people would prefer that to the current, otherwise engaged, god of modern monotheistic systems.

Perhaps a discussion into the nature of prophetic ability would help, I am assuming that this would be a good place to start but I could be wrong. Do I need a prophet? Well perhaps, perhaps not, it does seem to be the 'done thing' however, so I should at least advertise the post.

Prophet means 'to bubble forth' (nabi), it has its origin in Hebrew, as you would expect.

The role is;

"..To correct moral and religious abuses, to proclaim the great moral and religious truths which are connected with the character of God, and which lie at the foundation of his government." Easton's 1897 bible dictionary.

Numbers says;
'… When the spirit rested upon them, prophesied' (11:16-29)

Propheteering was a scholarly pursuit in ancient Hebrew-land (I wont use Israel because I don't honestly understand the term). Prophets were trained "to preach pure morality and the heart-felt worship of Jehovah (Yoda), and to act along and coordinately with the priesthood and monarchy in guiding the state aright and checking all attempts at illegality and tyranny." And Jesus was probably such a student, he is referred to using the term and that is what the people of the time meant by it, and given the access he had to the temple in order to 'cast out all them…over threw the tables of the moneychangers' (Mathew 21:11-13; Luke 13:33)

How does this impact in relation to my current disposition, then? Given that I do not have a bona fide prophet of Mr. Pat, I'll have to stand in for her/him. The vacancy requires filling, so, if you happen to be reading this and feel that propheteering is just the career you are looking for, please post a short introduction in the Prayer-box to the right of the postings. A shortlist will be drawn up and the highest scoring candidate will be appointed (The Divine Kingdom of Mr. Pat is an equal opportunities employer).

The job description is stated above with some minor differences.

The ability to 'Bubble forth' is an essential criterion for the role. I have performed such an act many, many times and as your direct line-manager (god) I would not ask you to complete any tasks I wouldn't be prepared to undertake myself. Whilst we await the appointment of the most holy prophet, there are some tasks of hers/his that cannot be ignored.

"Correct moral and religious truths connected with the character of god" I think I have discussed the first bit. Remember that; 'Morality is contained within these words….' And so my first advice to my people through my Prophet is;

'How would you like it done to you, eh? Well there you go then.' (Mr. Pat, standing in for/in the absence of, the Most Holy Prophet of Mr. Pat)

Preaching the heartfelt worship of Yoda does not apply in this case because Mr Pat also says;

"Thou shall have as many gods as you feel you need, I am not thy oppressor" (Mr. Pat, standing in for/in the absence of, the Most Holy Prophet of Mr. Pat)

And so there are no religious abuses for you to correct. You are 'the priesthood' so to act accordingly with it; you should just try to be yourself.

With regard to "guiding the state aright and checking all attempts at illegality and tyranny", well the state and government is very small right now and shouldn't need too much guiding at this time. However, by the grace of Mr. Pat, this aspect of your role may expand significantly. Please note that it doesn't say stopping all attempts at illegality and tyranny; you just have to check them.

Oh yeah, it also says 'when the spirit rested on them', so I'm going to have to insist on that before you prophesize.

Mr. Pat.

Propheteering

Although there is an element of narcissism to my character, I haven't read my own entries that often. I was showing the blog to a person I work with and realised that it could actually be considered anti-Semitic, what with the flag and the God of the Jews ONLY bit. This is not an apology for that 'cause it's not anti-Semitic at all. I have no hatred for the sons of Ham Shem or Japheth, because of the energy required.

It takes a huge amount of effort to truly hate someone.

I think that’s why genuine hatred is actually quite terrifying to behold. Most of us, thankfully, are incapable of expressing hatred on a day-to-day basis. There are little refractions of hatred everywhere and we all show them off from time to time, usually driven by self-interest/gratification, but there is a difference between this type and genuine, all-consuming, hatred.

Luckily, I don't think I've ever experienced the latter except in relation to myself, adolescence is frightening. But yeah, actually that’s a good way to illustrate it, is there a person or thing you hate as much as you have ever hated yourself. Being our own best detractors, it is doubtful such a person exists. Cast your mind back to the depths of teenage angst, visualise yourself looking in the mirror… yeah, that’s hatred. Can you feel that way about another person?

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” Hermann Hesse.

But the other type, the 'little refractions' as someone once referred to them, are probably just as bad for you. It’s slow erosion rather than a quick excision. Generally I have no desire to do harm to others, I have even forgiven a fair few people who have harmed me and been forgiven by some I’ve harmed, and that’s without faith in God.

Would we, unfettered by faith, descend into anarchy and chaos? Personally I think not (and I insist I have not read Dawkins book, I just know he talks about similar concepts in it). It is probably blasphemous on a number of levels to say so, but prophets, are just clever men (I shall burn, no doubt). Men with some degree of insight into the human condition, whom, after observing suffering, have come up with rules to govern, perhaps override, the ‘survival of the fittest’ law so abundant in nature.

Thankfully this is explained by religious leaders better than by me. All major religions have a similar rule of reciprocity:

“Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the LORD." From the Leviticus (in both Torah and Old Testament, well it would be wouldn’t it!)

“What you do not wish upon yourself, extend not to others.” From Confucius,

“This is the sum of duty; do naught unto others what you would not have them do unto you.” From Mahabharata,

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” Jesus (who would have been well aware of the contents of The Torah.)

“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” From Muhammad.

roughly in date order.

I’m not saying that this is truth, I’m not qualified, and neither are you. Besides, if you are a masochist…

And who would have expected:

"All human morality is contained in these words: make others as happy as you yourself would be, and never serve them more ill than you would yourself be served." From Donatien Alphonse François (go on, stick it into wikipedia), but I suppose he would have been uniquely qualified to make such an observation.

However, I do think that you can hurt yourself, with your general outlook on life. Yet do we truly need Buddhism, Christianity or Islam to provide the infrastructure for morality? Is it that important that you have someone else telling you what to think and do? I came up with this train of thought all by my little self. True enough, I have found many who echo this thinking since, but I’m not an academic who has learned all this from study. Yes, I know the New Testament fairly well and have a good knowledge of the historical development of religious belief systems, but mostly, I have simply observed my life (except the drunk bits).

My call to enlightenment, and therefore the start of my prophetic (pathetic) ministry, is thus:

“Should you forever live with your head in the sand, all that people will see is an arse.”

Mr. Pat

and a happy new year

Yes, It's been fairly slow in work today...and I have had time to look over all the work I published in the past. Sadly, despite my hope for a huge, 'ready-written' stock of work, there was not much worth posting here...What follows is my attempt to make people consider renewal and, take a cup of Kindness, an’ all that. It follows on from the Christmas message you can read here;

Now we think,
Over a drink,
After the excess of festivity,
And the celebration of the nativity,
Not how can we be more,
But rather, how can I get more,
Sure,
That’s a way of thinking,
And whilst drinking,
It seems the right way. I mean to say,
There’s nothing wrong with it per se
I'm just trying to make life nicer, for me and mine,
In these hard times,
There’s a line we all draw,
Just to be sure,
That behind our door, no-one feels poor.
And go on, in this way,
Convinced there's no piper to pay,
‘Cause who’s to say, that there will even be a judgement day.
Perhaps it don’t work that way.

What if? while I’m giving to the needy.
No-one, my good deed, did see,
Does this go against me?
And those who are greedy,
Who enjoy all things seedy,
It seems that they have all the answers,
So they take the chances,
And dance the dances,
‘Cos life is for living,
Regret is just giving you grief,
And that’s beyond belief,
That you do it to yourself,
When so many others,
Including many mothers,
Are more than able,
To tell the fable,
Of your shortfall,
Your warts and all,
And to put you down,
But why do you frown?
It’s not necessary for you to feel sad,
You are not bad,
It’s the world that’s messed up. True?
But don’t forget God, I think He still loves you.

Just keep trying, for in the try,
I am sure, there is the reason why,
The one we all seek,
From week to week,
Whether the weather be bright or bleak.
The meaning in what we do,
To be a better me and be a better you,
No fear.....
By this time next year.

See, I'm not sure, but done is done...there is that kind of, you know when you leave a drawing or whatever and come back to it...tweak this, fiddle with that..(it's the dance the dances bit, childlike? immature?) but I'd have to stop somewhere. So I will.

Mr Pat.

Older Chests? Thanks Damo.

I was chatting the other day with a colleague, and they said. 'Remember that thing you wrote for that newsletter last Christmas, well I thought that was nice, it got a message across...'
I was fairly dismissive, as I tend to be of my own work, but, when I read it again I though it should probably get posted...this blog is about my writing so it's valid and perhaps that is a revelation in itself.
This blog is about writing, yes, I know they all are....but specifically, you know the thing about the monkeys and the typewriter and the works of Shakespeare, well if i write enough, and I do, then there may be hope for something of importance to materialise, you never know.....
So here it is, written December 2004, so not actually last Christmas, but never mind.

When the nights are cold and the home fire is burning,
Spare a thought for the displaced, the yearning.
The children who wait for food in far places,
nothing but sand and flies on their faces.
In this time of doubt and of worry,
When for the price of a McFlurry ,
Those that have not, can not or are not able,
To sit at a table, or watch a film on cable,
Could at least have hope,
That one day they too will try to cope,
To struggle and push,
With the rush, the crush,
Of Christmas shopping, hopping,
From overcrowded shop to overcrowded shop,
Fit to drop,
Having spent,
Enough to dent,
Phenomenally,
The economy,
Of a developing nation,
For little Jayson and Mason must have a Playstation.

I am not attempting to criticise,
For I too am inclined to supersize,
When the mood takes me, but this year I will try and realise,
That I am blessed with my stress, little as it is,
It might seem fitting that here, sitting,
In my privileged position,
And knowing nothing of malnutrition,
Nor war, nor want,
That I am given to reflection,
How easy for me to be the next one,
To suffer, the rougher side of life,
Would I hope for Christmas kindness,
From those that are blessed,
With plenty,
Yet still give empty,
Promises and loose change,
To those who, strangely,
Remain in the domain of the streets,
Missing out on the treats,
Can they not see the tinsel and baubles, the trees and glitter,
Why are they so bitter?
I have not asked but, yes, I do wonder
Along with Sir Bob…..
“Do they Know its Christmas?”

d'you know, It's a bit wishy-washy in places, and I'm not that happy about the last bit...

Mr Pat.

Yodevaveh...Yoda to His friends

I've been thinking about how to continue and I put a large chunk of effort into my second post. When I tried to publish, however, I got a message about a bad url.....and couldn't retrieve the body of text. I was gutted. I am kind of thinking that although I was happy to publish the last entry, now, thanks to a, perhaps serendipitous, quirk of electronic miscommunication, I am forced to rethink the content...was it meant to be? I couldn't recite the entry word for word but perhaps it was ill-conceived, yes it's all irrelevant anyway. It was about how we think and the concept of original thought...all that Descartes malarkey thrown in for good measure, cognito ergo sum and that kind of thing.

Then I meandered to a point that I feel I should go over again for my piece of mind. It was all along the lines of the Essence of God and nirvana, or heaven or the happy hunting ground or the time between times, call it what you will...but the fact that there are so many names is indicative of the saturation of the idea across continents and cultures.

Clearly the fear of death is a powerful feeling and the gift of abstraction is a complex variable, add to this the incomprehension of the natural world and you would come up with a way to explain it, probably. And the explanation would be singular, at first, but as you struggled to attribute all of the unknown to one entity (lets call it God, for want of a better word) God would have to be expanded to encompass your greater understanding, perhaps even becoming gods. Yes I am well aware that this hardly constitutes original thought, but that is actually what I'm having difficulty with. To the chase then... anthropomorphic personification I think its called, Thor is the God of Thunder because I don't understand how thunder happens, therefore, I might as well accept a personality is responsible and a god is born, and a lot is owed to Terry Pratchett for helping me understand this. Godhood is diluted and in theory anything is now possible. So we have gods for everything including the god of soggybreadcruststhatislippedoncausingmetospilltodaysmilkonthefloor.

People need stuff 'boxed off' and it is difficult for an inquisitive mind to rest at the point "I don't know". We formulate theories that can neither be proved or disproved to explain experience. And we still do this, people claim to understand how money works but conceptually it is actually quite difficult to comprehend, and so for the vast majority of us, myself included, money is a god. We pray for it to come into our lives, no? do you do the lottery, have a flutter, invest in futures...it's one and the same thing actually, isn't it?

The one thing I cannot bring myself to say is that God does not exist, I have no rational argument for it's existence but I was raised a catholic and that is a difficult doctrine to rid myself of...but I am working on it. I think the confirmed Christians would probably argue that I cannot shake this belief because God is real. And fair play to them, if you want to live out the sensations remaining to you in the service of Jesus, good for you...not much fun though is it? Christianity has a very preventative philosophy, avoid the places where you think you may find 'evil' (as defined by us) and try to allow Jesus to work through you.

God, according to your scripture, created evil though...so what is it for if not to enjoy as one of His creations, or at least accept it as a part of existence. See, if you look at this from a non-reverential point of view, the christian God is more than a little mischievous. First of all YHWH (yodevaveh) creates a being that is in discord with his own wishes, gives Him something to have anxiety around I suppose, His motivational factor, perhaps. Then He banishes it to a realm that has free access to the people he has created in the garden of Eden. Who, incidentally, he also created but decided to not have them subservient. Maybe a lesson was learned with Lucifer, after a supposedly subservient seraph led a rebellion with fully one third of the heavenly host. But then, all-knowing isn't capable of learning is it?

Now i have no reverence for the devil, because i don't believe in that either. However, it illustrates the fallibility of the infallible God and begs questions of a rational mind. I called Him the Christian God but He isn't is He? He is the God of the Jews and if you look into it He is actually the God of the Jews only. The world is divided into Jews and Gentiles isn't it, OK so most Jews accept that Christians are not Gentiles but God never said so did he. I'm sure Jesus quotes could be thrown at me but that makes the assumption that Jesus was indeed the son of God and therefore capable of rescinding His word.

Then again how can a God that instructs the Jews to take possession of land from an established people, then claim to be a God of love (More changing of the Deific mind eh....would that be proof of Gods femininity.)

Sadly if you don't accept the triple God Christian model, and there are some who would urge you not too, you are left with the bearded, scary, Egyptian murdering, Homophobic, generally genocidal Old Testament chap. Care to spend eternity in His company?

Mr. Pat

in the beginnnning......

Yeah so, after rubbishing blogging as a pointless exercise, here I am typing my first entry. I think I should have some type of diary and this is what all the 'hip' people do,(listen to me, sounding like my dad).

I have had conversations about how one should blog, what is important, what is normal, making it significant and all that, but really, who gives a damn. Its not going to be written for people to read. I have a lot of pointless crap in my head and there is nowhere else for it to go. Given the nature of my mental condition, (I am me, what more can I say) I am expecting a succession of meandering, half baked, conceptual mumbo that starts with a good premise and descends into the hum-drum blog we all know and love (I wouldn't have rubbished blogging if I hadn't read a few first.)

I don't hope to offer advice for life, listen to "wear sunscreen" (Advice, like youth, is probably wasted on the young. Mary Schmich.), or Desiderata if you are after such. But should I talk about life, or more specifically MY life, I may find some solace within the writing of the blog, and that is my goal. I'm not going to get into anything meaty right now but feel I must in future, as this, should be monumental, to me, at the very least.

I could set privacy things and all that but again this random succession of electronic 1's and 0's could be all that is left of me when I die...how long before they delete the blog if I don't write? and its probably fitting that we all etch our mark on this world in anyway we can! It is for this reason that graffiti has merit (not 'graffiti bridge' Prince, clearly). Public beautifiers beware, you could be removing part of humankind's continuing essence. Dissatisfaction and unrest are documented in this way...yes even the "Chris is gay" on the back of the toilet door is to be respected for this reason. Perhaps Chris is indeed gay but what compelled the author to inform us. hate, humour, spite and bile...where else can they have expression, and what should we learn whilst defecating other than this.

I am glad I've taken this step, as small as it is...i just don't know if there will be another, or even if there should be another. I would also like to wish everyone who has started a blog today the very best of luck with it. you don't need encouraging because its all handsome enough. Live like Zorro...leave your mark where you go (but don't necessarily shag Catherine Zeta Jones, unless you are Mr Douglas and then you may feel free, hi Mike, thanks for reading).

PS the Rigveda from whence the blog gets its nomenclature is a sacred Vedic (early basis for the Hindu faith) text that deals with such things as the proforma of sacrifice to the gods. that means something when related to my bilge, but i am not sure what, just yet...
Mr Pat.